Seeing beyond Rejections ｜ 1 Samuel 29—31

Rejection takes many forms. Sometimes it is official and undeniable like being turned down for a school or job application. Other times it is more subtle, such as when we are excluded from social circles, or given the cold shoulder despite our attempts to be friendly and sincere. Regardless of what it looks like, rejection is difficult and hurtful because it casts doubts on our self-worth. We are left wondering why we are not accepted, why our effort is overlooked, why others are considered “better” than ourselves. It is a feeling that tends to linger long after the actual incidents, with our hearts bound by its toxic grip.  

David, the King of Israel whom God called “a man after my heart” (Acts 13:22), faced his fair share of rejections as well. One of those incidences is recorded in 1 Samuel 29. This was a strange time in David’s life. He had long been ordained as the King of Israel by Samuel to take the place of Saul (1 Sam 16:13). He even defeated Goliath the Philistine and brought victory for Israel (1 Sam 17), garnering praise and recognition from troops and people alike. Yet things were all downhill from that point on. Feeling threatened by the success and popularity of David, Saul was enraged with jealousy, so much so that he made multiple attempts to murder David. Thus began the long and grueling journey of David as a fugitive, where he was forced to leave behind his life and his family, at times taking desperate and even degrading measures just to stay alive (1 Sam 18:10—24:22; 26:1-25).

The king who fled to the enemy

But Saul was relentless, and David was tired from all the running and hiding. So David said this to himself, “One of these days I will be destroyed by the hand of Saul. The best thing I can do is to escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will give up searching for me anywhere in Israel, and I will slip out of his hand” (1 Sam 27:1).

It was another desperate move, and likely not pleasing to God. The ordained King of Israel was leaving his country to try and find salvation and rest from the enemy—the enemy he himself had defeated while he was still a mighty warrior of Israel. But he was probably exhausted, deflated, and desperate for respite. So he went to Achish, king of the Philistine town Gath (the hometown of Goliath), who somehow not only accepted him and his men, but also gave them the town Ziklag for them to live (1 Sam 27:3-6).

Indeed, as David predicted, Saul stopped pursuing him once he heard that David had left Israel. Meanwhile, David was busy demonstrating his loyalty to the Philistines by pretending that he had been attacking and raiding Judean settlements, while in actuality he had been targeting the Canaanites. David was busy gaining the trust of Achish, because that was his way of survival. He needed to ensure that his newly acquired family and his men would continue to dwell in the land of the Philistines in peace.

And for a while, it looked like it was working. “Achish trusted David and said to himself, ‘He has become so obnoxious to his people, the Israelites, that he will be my servant for life’” (1 Sam 27:12). But turns out David did not manage to win the trust of the other Philistine commanders. When a battle was looming between the Philistines and Israel, and David was ready and eager to further cement his place as a mighty warrior for the Philistines, he was rejected from joining the battle. Despite all the effort he had put in to establish himself as a trustworthy servant for the Philistines, they refused to see him as one of them. It was a rejection that thwarted David’s plan to safeguard his livelihood, and a rejection that left David exclaiming, “But what have I done?” (1 Sam 29:8) He couldn’t understand why his plan, despite all the plotting and all the blood and sweat he had poured in, would fall apart before his eyes. This was a defeat, a setback that he didn’t see coming, because he thought he was doing so well.

When rejection happens, especially the kind that disrupts our plans, we too are often left sitting in the ashes of the aftermaths, searching our brains for answers and wondering how to move forward. But the beauty of God’s word is that we are blessed with the wisdom of hindsight, because we get to know how the story unfolds when we keep reading. David might have been bewildered by the rejection that sent him home to Ziklag in hurt and dejection, but unbeknownst to him, it was a blessing in disguise because he was desperately needed at home. The Amalekites had raided and attacked Ziklag, burning it with fire and taking everyone, women and children alike, into captivity. Everyone was so distraught that they even talked about stoning David (1 Sam 30:1-6).

Only God is our refuge

“But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God” (1 Sam 30:6). He might have drifted from God during his time in the land of the Philistines, as indicated by a complete lack of reference to God by David ever since he escaped to the Philistines (see 1 Samuel 27 & 29), but this crisis brought him back to the Lord. The rejection by the Philistines freed him from the battle so he could return home to rescue his family. It also reminded him that salvation and refuge came from the Lord, not the Philistines.

So he paused and sought the Lord, and God answered him, because our God is a gracious and compassionate God. Not only did God tell him what to do, but as David followed God and pursued the raiders, he was able to recover everything that was taken, so that “nothing was missing, whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken” (1 Sam 30:19). Furthermore, this rejection from the Philistines prevented David from participating in the very battle at which Saul and his sons, including his dear friend Jonathan, were killed (1 Sam 31:2-4). Considering that David had restrained himself again and again from laying his hand on God’s anointed (1 Sam 24:8-15; 26:9-12), how would he feel if he later realized that he had played a role in killing the King of Israel and his very best friend?

Rejection will always be a hard pill to swallow. Amid our hurt and self-doubt, it is so easy to be fixated on the incident or the people who rejected us. But David’s example shows us the way forward: “David strengthened himself in the Lord his God” (1 Sam 30:6). David might have slipped and drifted from God, but he is a man after God’s heart because despite everything, he always returned to God to seek him. He knew that God’s anger is but for a moment, yet His favor is for a lifetime (Ps 30:5). Therefore when he returned with his whole heart, He knew that God would meet him with mercy and lovingkindness.

Indeed, the only way to see beyond rejection is to turn our gaze to God, to remember that He knows our past and our future, and He loves us tremendously. A closed door is but a way to steer us toward the paths God has in mind for us, and often, to steer us back to God. It's true that rejection may feel like an invalidation of our worth, but when we shift our focus from people and turn our eyes to God, we will remember once again that only God our Creator can determine our value, and He calls us precious. Even if we sometimes forget who we are, like David forgetting that he was the anointed one, the truth remains—we are loved and cherished, and there is a place for us, a role we need to play in God’s kingdom. Our God is the one who reigns and who is in control, who knows our needs, our fears, and our desires. He is gently guiding us and leading us, so that we will always remember that He alone is our rock and our refuge.

Have you allowed rejections to hold you captive so that you are unable to look away and see the hand of God that is at work? When we are in the midst of doubts and disappointments, it is difficult to move past these hurtful incidents. Yet may the story of David be an encouragement to you today, to remind you that rejections are but temporary pauses and sometimes, direction-changers in our heavenward journey. The story is still unfolding, and somewhere an open door is waiting for us, so long as we continue to hold onto our heavenly Father on this journey. He is powerful enough to heal and transform, so that one day in hindsight, we will see that He truly is a gracious, compassionate, and faithful God.

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