The Search for a Calm and Quiet Soul ｜ Lesson from Psalm 131

If there is a pill you could take that will give you a calm and quiet soul, I think most people would be willing to pay a hefty sum to obtain it. We are a restless generation. We are constantly on the go, constantly stretching our potential, constantly trying to climb the next mountain. We have never had more access to recreational activities, entertainment, or technology that helps us relax and recharge, yet we remain tense and edgy. A calm and quiet soul is like the perfect state we forever seek but never quite attain.  

But in Psalm 131, King David had seemingly attained this elusive goal. He says in v.2 (ESV), “But I have calmed and quieted my soul.” He has done it. Notice the subject of the sentence; he himself has calmed and quieted his soul. So what is the secret, you might ask? Psalm 131 is, in fact, a remarkably short psalm. There are only three verses, yet this is all it takes for David to reveal the most important secret to a quiet and calm heart.

Here is what he says in v.1 (NASB), “Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes arrogant. Nor do I involve myself in great matters, or things too difficult for me.” This is an interesting opening verse for a psalm. We do not know the circumstance under which David began a psalm this way, but this is not a typical psalm of praise and thanksgiving, nor one where he sought God’s help in his distress. David is, in fact, not even giving us a detailed “know-how” on how to calm and quiet one’s soul. He has simply described the state of his heart, but it is a state that enabled him to say that he has calmed and quieted his soul in the next verse.

The secret is an unexpected one. If someone is to ask for ways to calm and quiet one’s soul, we might suggest prayer, reading God’s word, or spending some time in nature to gaze at the beauty of God’s creation. Yet David makes no mention of these in his psalm. Rather, he specifically talked about humility: a heart that is not proud, eyes that are not arrogant. In fact, his heart is so humbled that he would not even choose to chase after great things, or things that are too difficult (or marvelous, see ESV or NIV) for him.

What this verse describes is a person who knows himself, one who has learned to think of himself with sober judgment so that he would not think of himself more highly than he ought (Rom 12:3). This is a person who has learned that we as creatures are merely dust, lovingly created by our Maker, yet full of creaturely limitations. “The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him” (Ps 103:15-17, another psalm by David).

David understood the intricate relationship between us and our loving heavenly Father. It is a great paradox: we are by nature fragile, limited, transient, but because of the love of God, we have a place in eternity. In His love and grace, He has made us, sustained us, saved us, and blessed us in tremendous ways. God has a master plan where we are each given a unique role, a unique calling, a unique portion. Yet we are never meant to have complete control over our circumstances and our life. James 4:14 states it bluntly, “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.” Indeed, as much as we are loved and blessed by our gracious God, there is much that is not within our control—not the length of our days, nor the number of our hair.

The heart that is calm and quiet is that of a man who has not only known, but has accepted, his limitation and his lot. He is no longer fighting God. He knows that before our God, there is no room for arrogance and unfounded pride. Therefore he will not engage in things that are too great and difficult because he has, with sober judgment, finally comprehended what is too great and difficult. He has come to understand his limits, as well as his calling and his gifts, knowing that he can make his plan, but it is the Lord who establishes his steps (Prov 16:9).

The heart of a weaned child

But more importantly, this is a heart that has learned that God’s plan for us, the portion allotted to us, is better than anything we can try to grab through our own strength because our Father who knows us, loves us. David illustrates this with the image of a weaned child with his mother (Ps 131:2). Prior to being weaned, there is only one thing a baby wants with the mother—her breastmilk. This is the baby’s way of survival, what he depends on. Thus, taking away the mother’s milk in the process of weaning can be very stressful and difficult, for the baby cannot understand why he is being denied something essential. In the baby’s mind, he can never imagine a way of survival other than breastmilk, nor is he aware that there can be more life and goodness after this painful process.

But with time, the baby will eventually learn that the withholding of breastmilk does not equal abandonment and hunger. The mother is still there; she is only feeding him and providing for him in new, unexpected ways. Thus a weaned child leans against his mother quietly and calmly, because he has learned that it is the mother’s love and care, not breastmilk per se, that has sustained him. He is no longer screaming, grabbing, and trying desperately to extract what is deemed essential—milk—from the mother. The baby has learned to be content with the mother’s presence, milk or no milk, because he knows that he can trust and rely on the love and care of the mother, for she knows what he truly needs.

David knew that He could trust the Lord too. He could trust that despite his frailty and sinfulness, his good God has blessed him and kept for him his portion, so that he could rest in his heavenly father’s embrace like a weaned child. This is why he urged Israel in the psalm’s concluding verse to put their hope in the Lord, to wait for Him (Ps 131:3), because he himself has gone through the weaning process and knew that God is good, faithful, and merciful.  

Are you like a weaned child, or one going through the painful process of weaning? The world has taught us to push and ignore our limits, so that we can get a hold of things that we think will ensure our survival or lead us to a better life. But as we work hard to make the most of what we have, God is reminding us to pause and remember Him. He is reminding us that we do not need to scramble and grab, or defy our creaturely limitations, because our heavenly Father is watching over us the way a mother would for her child. He who made us and loves us knows our limits, our needs, and what our future holds. He has a plan for us, a portion reserved for us. Yes, our lot will be different from others, but it will be perfect for us because it was allotted to us by our loving Father.

Is Father God seemingly taking your milk away? The reminder from Psalm 131 is—in the midst of your pain and frustration, remember that God is a good God who knows what He is doing. The process may be difficult, but maybe He is only trying to wean you off things that you have come to rely on, so that you can lean on Him instead, and learn the secret to a calm and quiet soul. May He fill your heart with the contentment of a weaned child, knowing that we are safe in His arms because every good and perfect gift is from above.

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